In San Clemente, we have a serious spiritual and domestic problem. Around 40% of married couples in our city both work full-time, year-round. That is significantly higher than the national average of roughly 30-35%.
We accept this as normal and pretend it’s an economic “necessity.” The high cost of living here is real, but the real problem is that we have bowed to the idol of materialism, casting aside the biblical design for marriage as if it were a mere suggestion. In fact, many churches and Bible commentaries spend a great deal of time trying to rationalize away clear instruction in Scripture.
The problem is national, and it’s getting worse. For only the third time in history, women now outnumber men in the U.S. workforce. This is not a temporary recession-driven blip; this is a long-term decline in male labor force participation. Over the past year, men lost 142,000 jobs while women gained 298,000. The result is a rise in “stay-at-home-husbands”. Nearly one in five stay-at-home parents in the U.S. are now fathers, up from just 1.6% in 1989.
The Biblical Blueprint for the Home
The Bible is not silent on the distinction of roles between men and women. The Lord elevates women to the highest position of dignity when they fulfill the role He designed for them. The Christian woman is called to be a keeper of the home, a nurturer of children, and a helper suitable for her husband.
“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
— Titus 2:4-5 (KJV)
When women pursue careers in management, government, or leadership over men, they violate the natural order God established in creation. Churches are obviously explicitly barred from placing women in authority over men:
“Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.”
— 1 Timothy 2:11-12 (KJV)
This is about God’s order. When women abandon their pivotal role in the home to chase a paycheck or a corporate title, society suffers.
It’s a Curse
When a nation abandons these roles, it descends into chaos as we’re seeing in the United States today. The prophet Isaiah saw this and lamented it:
“As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.”
— Isaiah 3:12 (KJV)
Isaiah points to a society where everything is upside down: wives refusing submission, children ruling their parents, and women in positions of authority over men. It is disastrous.
Modern worldly philosophy tells us we should “bow to the child,” catering to their every whim and negotiating their obedience. This makes children unruly, difficult, and spoiled. God’s way is discipline and training.
The Materialism Excuse
“Oh, but we cannot afford to live on one income here! We need both to work!”
I understand the price of housing in San Clemente is astronomical. But what are we actually buying with that second income? We are buying McMansions and luxury SUVs. We are buying boat payments, designer clothes, eating out multiple times a week, and trinkets that will rot in a landfill. The worst part is that when the mother works for some corporate entity, she’s paying for someone else to raise her child. Why on earth would you have a child just to have someone else raise him? It’s insane.
The “necessity” of the second income is often just a cover for a swollen lifestyle. The Bible commands contentment. It commands us to cultivate a simple, godly home. You can live on a modest budget, in a smaller home, driving an older car, if it means that your wife can dedicate herself to the children and to serving her husband.
“But godliness with contentment is great gain.” — 1 Timothy 6:6 (KJV)
What is the point of climbing the corporate ladder if you lose your children to the world? What is the price of financial comfort if you lose the influence of godly parents in a child’s life?
Do the Right Thing
The people of San Clemente need abandon the love of things, and return to the love of God. We need fathers who provide, mothers who nurture, and children who honor their parents.
“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” — Matthew 6:33 (KJV)
“For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” — 1 Peter 3:5-7 (KJV)
